Down with the church of HR!
I quietly take my seat in the sanctuary. The training room has a whiteboard, wall projector, and twenty other participants. I pick up the pen provided, write my name in all caps before peeling the back of my name tag, and carefully place it over my heart. The church of Human Resources has many such rituals that we the corporate faithful dutifully perform.
This morning we are taking part in a mandatory diversity training. I say mandatory because a failure to participate results in punishment. Not participating is a sin of sorts and, in this case, the punishment meted out by the HR holy leaders will be that of not being eligible for a merit raise.
To the envy of many pastors who often find their churches scarcely populated, the HR church leaders have the power to penalize you for not attending. And, just so you know, a merit raise could mean several thousand dollars over the course of the coming year — so it is a punishment with teeth. Strange, you’d think if the teaching was so great you wouldn’t have to threaten people into attending.
I suggest that these plump and typically short in stature woman are priests and pastors, not in the Catholic sense of robes and ritual, or in the Evangelical sense of storyteller/ entertainer, but in a new activist sense of solemn duty and commitment. These holy practitioners have real power and they really knew it — and have quickly consolidated and now sport lofty titles in many corporations such as Chief Diversity Officer, a corporate version of Pope leading a holy order of trainer/priests committed to spread and enforce the creed.
You do well not to underestimate their conviction to their creed — to my Catholic readers, it may not be the Apostle’s, but to them it is no less inspired. In fact, if you live in America you already know the creed: Diversity, Inclusion and Equity (D.I.E. some offer as a sanctimonious acronym).
This particular morning’s sermon/teaching was centered on “diversity makes us stronger.” The statement is repeated many times in many ways and met with many nods of approval. Some nod with enthusiasm. They are the zealots. Others nod in boredom, shifting their weight while focused on their phones they half-heartedly hide in their lap. They are the obedient. Some are the wolf- in-sheep’s clothing type, only nod so as not to draw attention. Like those who close their eyes and bow their heads when a prayer is given even though they don’t believe anyone is listening. They are the unbelievers and because they lack courage they sit quietly in silent obedience.
The trainer is pleasant enough, but one can’t help noticing a sense of self-importance being communicated in her stance and tone. She rhetorically asks, “how does diversity make us stronger,” and then smiles seeing the undiscerning zealot hands snap to attention. She looks around the room and I avoid her glance. She calls on me. “Mark, as a white privileged male, how does diversity make us stronger?”
I do not want to answer the question and she knows it.
In my mind I think…preaching social diversity when it already exists, creates a diminished trust environment and therefore a more closed and conflict-oriented transactions leading to diminished team cohesion. As such, this makes our company weaker not stronger. You cannot assemble any number of people without there being diversity of thought, talent, intelligence, skills. Oh, and by the way — I resent your assumption that I am privileged.
I answer loud enough for everyone in the training to hear.
“Because everyone’s opinion is to be respected and acknowledged and this makes us stronger.”
“Good”, pastor Latesha beams approval and adds “everyone brings something different to the table so we can learn from each other, care more about each other, this makes us stronger.” We all nod with the collective force of an ‘Amen.’ Yes, I am an unbelieving obedient follower.
The service/training ends, and we are sent back to our offices to do our jobs. We are socially pure, and we are strong. Right?
Does diversity really make a company stronger? If so, what do we mean by diversity and what do we mean by stronger? Of course, the trainer meant by diversity things like the color of your skin, your sexual proclivities, and your gender. Hmm. Would it not be more intelligent and productive to think of diversity with regards to talent, expertise, or problem-solving capabilities? None of which has anything to do with color, sexual proclivity, or gender.
And what do we mean by our company’s strength? The HR church seems to conflate adherence to progressive ideology with the company’s level of strength. Again, one has nothing to do with the other. A company’s strength can be measured by market share, growth rate, employee loyalty, etc. Getting together and talking about the ills of society, regardless of how obscure — does not endear strength to our company. That’s just mushy thinking.
If we allow this kind of thinking to continue — it will further politicize our workplaces and hinder our ability to compete in the global markets. I like the people I work with, I like my job, and I’m tired of hearing this endless ideological droning on about diversity. Down with your false religion! Down with the HR church!
